ラブシリーズ:友達編 Love series: FRIENDS

We’ve started our new LOVE SERIES at Tuesday night church!

If you want to have a long lasting marriage

If you are wondering, “how would I know who should I choose for my future spouse?”

If you are wondering, “I’ve now become a Christian but what should I do in relationships area?”

You will get know the secrets to those questions throughout this series! 

ライフハウスには聖書に基づいた男女関係6つのレベルのガイドラインがあります。 (あくまでもガイドラインであって、ルールではないです)
In Lifehouse we have 6 degrees of relationships. (This is just a guideline not rule)

6つのレベルをみてみよう! So let’s look at the 6 levels.

1)    友達  Friends
2)    特別な友達 Special friends
3)    コーヒータイム Coffee time
4)    付き合う Going steady
5)    婚約 Engagement
6)    結婚 Marriage

This has been recommended in Lifehouse for a while as a general guideline and so many couples including Luke and myself made are enjoying incredible marriage because we followed these guidelines.

This guideline is set to protect us. And it helps us build great foundation for a long lasting marriage.



1. フレンドリーになることがすべての人間関係のスタート
1. Becoming friends is the gateway to any relationship.

(箴言 18:24/NKJ訳からのオリジナル訳) 友を得たいと思う者は、フレンドリーにならなければならない。しかし、本当の兄弟よりも親密な友もいる。
(Proverbs 18:24/NKJ) A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

まずは、「フレンドリー」になることが大事。 異性に対して自然におはようって笑顔でいえない人がいる。


この友情の段階をしっかり築いていこう。 土台になっていくから。

It’s so important to be friendly first. Some people can’t say “hi” with a smile to the opposite sex.

Some guys will try to just exchange emails and ask for your phone number and try to skip the FRIENDS stage. That is red alert!

Make an effort to enjoy this friendship stage. You are building a foundation.

(2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT) This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!



でも、イエスは私たちを内側から変えてくれる。自信を与えてくれる。 まず神様に内側を変えてもらおう。


When we become a Christian, we become a new person.

There are many who are hurt from past relationships and don’t have confidence. Or perhaps you are scared about relationships now.

But Jesus can really change us from the inside. He is the one who can give us confidence. Let’s ask God to change you from the inside out.

Let’s get healed and receive confidence and then you can be more friendly to others!

2. フレンドリーになる友だちは選ばないといけない。
2. We’ve got to choose the friends we want to be friendly to.





Friends In this case is someone of the opposite sex, where you feel you could potentially have a romantic relationship with.

If you tend to flirt with people, let’s stop that immediately.

Also if you like someone who is flirty, be careful. Because that person won’t change after he/she marries you. They will do that to other people.

Habits and personality won’t change after getting married. It’s dangerous to think that “He/She will change after marriage!”

(2 コリント 6:14) 不信者と、つり合わぬくびきをいっしょにつけてはいけません。正義と不法とに、どんなつながりがあるでしょう。光と暗やみとに、どんな交わりがあるでしょう。
(2 Corinthians 6:14) Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?



Pastor Hideyuki explained that if you love God and want to do something big for God, don’t go out with and marry someone who doesn’t love God and have totally different value as you.  Because you are going to have a difficult marriage.

ひでさんが今札幌でチャーチたてて、神様のために大きなことして最高の人生歩めているのは、神様がだ〜いすきで同じ方向にむかっているさっちゃんと結婚したから。 最強のパートナーシップ!

The reason why Pastor Hideyuki can build a church in Sapporo and do something big for God and live this incredible life is because that he married Sachi who loves God and she was heading the same direction. Such a strong partnership!!!


ええ!? 結婚してから性格合わないって気付いたの!?って笑うかもしれないけど、結婚してから何もあわないって気付く人は少なくない。



Also the no.1 reason of divorce in Japan is “difference in personalities and values.” 

You might wonder, “What!? That’s ridiculous noticing that after getting married!” But it’s quite common to realize that you have nothing in common after you get married to that person.

That’s why it’s important to get to know that person while you are hanging out in groups.

Let’s get to know that person better. Their personalities, vision, work and how they talk to other people and treat them.

(箴言 22:24) おこりっぽい者と交わるな。激しやすい者といっしょにつるむな。
(Proverbs 22:24) Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered,

おこりっぽい性質の人は要注意! 絶対に怒りをコントロールできない人とは結婚しないで。逃げて!(笑)


If you are easily angered, be careful! And run from those who have a bad temper! Don’t marry them…!

Men are supposed to protect women. If you have issues with your emotion, ask God to heal you. And let’s become a secure man of God to protect your future wife.

3. この段階でするべきこと、またはしてはいけないこと。
What you should do or should not do in this phase.

[すべきこと Things you should do]
ー神様から喜びを受け取って自分の人生をエンジョイする。Receive joy from God and enjoy your life.

ー同性の友だちをしっかり作る。Make friends of the same gender

ーいつも自分でいる。Always be who you are


ー会話上手になる!会話上手になるってそんなに難しいことではない。 聞き上手にな ることが大事。 自分の話ばっかりしてはだめ。また相手から質問された時に答えて終わっても続かない。
Work on your conversation skills. It is not hard to improve your conversation skills. You just need to be a good listener. Don’t just talk about yourself. Also don’t just answer to the questions that people asked you and stop there.

Find common interest and qualities that you admire in others

Have genuine openness

Be a great encourager

ユーモアのセンスを磨く。 大阪ではかなり重要やで~(笑)
Have a sense of humor! It’s quite important in Osaka!

Work on your appearance

男性のみんな、歯を磨こう!夏になったらデオドラントは忘れずに。清潔感、とっても大事です。 (笑)
Men, please brush your teeth! Don’t forget to wear a deodorant.

女性のみんな、薄くで良いのでメイクをしたりおしゃれをしよう! よく外見の話をすると「一番大事なのは心じゃん!」って思う人もいるかもしれないけど、もちろん心も大事。でも、神様から与えられた自分を最大限に磨くことも大事なこと。
Girls, let’s wear makeup and dress good! When we talk about appearance some people say, “What matters the most is heart!” and that’s true. But you need to look the best with what God has given you!

I don’t think any women will be happy if their husbands said to them, “I didn’t really like my wife’s looks but I liked her personality so I married her.”

Wouldn’t you be happy if your future husband said, “I like your personality and looks!”

So even if you don’t have any interests right now, let’s work on your appearance!

[してはいけないこと Things you shouldn’t do]

ー思わせぶりな態度を取らない!!! それは相手が自分に興味を持たせるような行為のこと。
Don’t flirt. Don’t make actions that could make the other person think you are interested in him/her.

ーストーカーにならない Do not be a stalker.

ー贈り物はしないDon’t buy gifts.

ー触れてはいけないDo not touch!

Don’t write them lots of mails and chat when you don’t really talk to them face-to-face. Girls don’t like that…

どうかな? 以上が友達の段階のポイントです!
Hope you found this helpful!

最高の友情はチャーチで築けます! 同じボランティアチームにいたら自然と共通の話題とか話すチャンスいっぱいあるから、良い友達たくさん作ろう!!!
You can make great friends in church! If you are in the same volunteer team, you will have opportunities to talk to many people with common interests!

Tomorrow, we will talk about Special friends so please look forward to it!!

If you are reading this blog,  why don’t you take a step forward and come to church ?


「教会ってちょっと敷居高いからなぁ~」とか「宗教ってちょっと怖いから…」とか「俺そういうの興味ないから」って思ってる人も とりあえず一回来てみてください。食わず嫌いせずに♪とりあえず一回。詳しく聞きたかったら気軽にメールください!!
If you are feeling self-conscious about visiting church or thinking “I’m scared of religion” or “I’m not interested at all…” Please come at least once! Don’t reject without even having tried it. Just once for a start! If you want to know more about it please email to us. Looking forward to see you all !!


お金はいりません。誰でも歓迎します! 無理な勧誘など一切ありません。
You don’t need entrance fee. We welcome anybody, and we’re very easy-going! you just bring yourself!


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