ホンモノの友達の作り方 How to make real friends!



Today, I’ll share what Luke preached in the past about FRIENDSHIP!

I hope this would help those who are about to enter new season or new semester (if you are in Japan).

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team

ホンモノの友達の作り方 How to make real friends!

(ヨハネ15:15) わたしはもはや、あなたがたをしもべとは呼びません。しもべは主人のすることを知らないからです。わたしはあなたがたを友と呼びました。なぜなら父から聞いたことをみな、あなたがたに知らせたからです。

(John 15:15) I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.


If you are a Christian, God is your friend!


What’s really special about church is that people from all sorts of backgrounds, male and female, different nationalities, different ages share one thing in common.

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team


In Ephesians 2:19 it says, we are God’s family.


Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household,

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team

クリスチャンになった瞬間、世界中のクリスチャンと友達・家族になる感じ。 だから、ほかの国の教会にいっても、家族のような仲間のような気持ちになる(^^) これって他ではないことだよね!


We often hear from those who came to Lifehouse for the first time how they were really moved by how friendly and welcoming our church is.

When you become a Christian, you will belong to this world-wide family/friendship group. Everywhere you go, you’ll feel like family with the people in church. This is so unique!

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team

ある人は教会に来ても「ここに居場所がない。」というかもしれない。 でも、そこがポイントじゃない。 ポイントは、あなたが率先して友達を作るかどうかってこと。


Some people come to church and say “I don’t feel like I belong here.” But that is not the point. The point is, are you going initiate friendship?

Some people get offended and say they don’t get any emails or calls.  But why don’t you stop waiting and initiate instead?

photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team

ジョン・マクスウェルの言葉。 「人は自分と同じような人を惹きつける」

John Maxwell said this, “You attract who you are.”

ネガティブな人は不思議と新しい場所にいっても、5分以内に同じネガティブな人を見つけ、仲間を結成する。 逆にポジティブな人は、ポジティブな人をひきつける。

Negative people find each other within 5 minutes wherever there are. It’s quite interesting. They are good at forming a negative circle.  On the other hand, positive people attracts positive people.



The good news is…. you can change from today!

If you were attracting negative people and wrong kind of friends you can change that by changing yourself.

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team

<男性へ TO BOYS


Boys tend to be lazy at initiating. They have many “1 click friends” on twitter and facebook. All they need to do is click and say “ACCEPT” But you need to work on your friendship!  Let’s be the initiator and make great friends




相手に求めすぎてしまう傾向がある。 たとえば、何時間も電話するとか、自分のことを100%理解してほしい。 気にかけてほしいとか思ってしまっている。

Girls are relatively better with making friends than guys.

But what the girls need to be careful is to make “BFF” (Best Friends Forever) and have unrealistic expectations towards that person.

Sometimes girls have high expectations. For example they NEED to talk on the phone for hours or they want their friends to understand them 100%.

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team

それから、「ゴミ箱」にならないように気をつけよう。 人の悩みや愚痴を聞いてしまうタイプ。もし愚痴を頻繁に話されるタイプの友達に自分がなっていたら、「あなたの良い話も聞きたいな」って相手にちゃんと伝えよう。 そして、自分が何で「はけ口」タイプの友達になってしまうのか考えてみよう。

100%理解してくれるのも、あなたの悩みや愚痴を全部聞いてくれるのはイエスだけ! イエスと関係がある子はバランスよく健康的な友情を築いていくことができる。

Also be careful not to be the “sucker for dumpers”. Those who always listen to their friends problems and complaints. If you are that kind of person, you should say to your friend(s) “I want to hear your good news too!”. Or you should think about why your friends do that to you.

Only Jesus can understand you 100%!  He will listen to your problems and worries. People who have relationship with Jesus can establish healthy friendships because of that.

Photo by Lifehouse Photography team


So Luke gave us few points on how to make friends.

1) フレンドリーになろう! BE FRIENDLY!

(箴言18:24) 滅びに至らせる友人たちもあれば、兄弟よりも親密な者もいる。

(Proverbs 18:24) One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.


静かでおとなしいタイプでも友だちを作ることができる! それは、笑顔を増やすこと!



It’s obvious but friendly people have more friends.

But even if you are quiet and gentle person, you can still make friends! You just need to smile frequently.

If you don’t usually smile a lot,  just practice!

Maybe if that is not natural for you you might feel awkward or fake at the beginning but as you start doing it, it will become real and natural!

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team
2) 赦す人になろう! BE A FORGIVER




No one is perfect.

I am not perfect, you are not perfect.

Don’t expect too much from the other person and keep on forgiving each other.

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team


みんなフレンドリーだし、ポジティブ。 成長したいと思っているみんなの集まり。

ぜんぜん毎週こないのに、「ともだちできない・・・」って思っている人はきつづけよう!とアドバイスしたい。 仕え始めよう。


Everyone is friendly and positive. People here want to grow

Church is the best place to make friends.

If you are not coming to church everyweek and saying “I don’t have any friends” I just want to recommend you to keep on coming. It’s great to start serving.

And when you come to church, don’t hide on the back row but come to the front and get involved!

photo by Lifehouse Osaka photography team
4) 魅力的になろう! BE INTERESTING


魅力的になることって実はシンプル。 「聞き上手」になること。

This means, don’t just talk about yourself.

It’s very simple to become interesting. You can become a GOOD LISTENER.

photo by Lifehouse Osaka Photography team

多くの人は 「自分はどう思われてるだろう?」って一番考える。






Many people think, “What do people think of me?” the most.

Great thing about church is that people who have received God’s love are not really thinking about themselves but they are thinking about YOU!

So how do YOU become a good friend?

Just stop focusing on yourself and focus on others.

Be interested in others.

And if your friends are good friends they will ask about you!

Photo by LIfehouse Photography Team



イエスは私達の親友。イエスは昨日も今日も明日もかわらないし、ずーっと私達の味方 私達が選ぶ前から選んでくれて、愛してくれている!



Jesus is our best friend! Jesus doesn’t change yesterday today and tomorrow and he is always for us! He has chosen us before we chose him and he loves us so much!

Do you have the experience of being the last person chosen for a sports team? I have… you feel a bit sad not being chosen.

But God doesn’t pick us like that. He loves every one of us. Even when we do things that make God sad, when we repent we can be his friend again!

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka Photography Team


You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. (John 15:16)


So let’s have Jesus as our best friend and have many great friends in life!

Photo by Lifehouse Osaka Photography Team


Lifehouse Osaka is an International church in Osaka. We also have Lifehouse International churches in other locations. Please visit our website for more information! If you’ve never been to church please come, we would be happy to have you there!

ライフハウス大阪公式HP Lifehouse Osaka Official website

ライフハウス大阪公式FBページ Lifehouse Osaka Official FB page

ライフハウス大阪公式インスタグラム Lifehouse Osaka Official Instagram




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